It’s taken me almost 3 years to morn the loss of my previous yoga practice. I will always look back on my years of freedom fondly. If I’m totally being honest, I’m working on not letting feelings of jealousy creep in when I see teachers without children going to workshops and trainings or practicing so often. I realized I was so attached to how my practice used to be, that it was holding me back.
I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that that it’s ok that I’m lucky if I get to one class every other week and how certain poses that I used to hold dear to my heart no longer feel good in my body. I was being stubborn, as if it should be all or nothing.
So, I’ve been rolling my mat out at home more often. Ryder always joins in, and today he is the one that asked me to roll my mat out, it was an enthusiastic yes!!
I’ve honestly come to love when he climbs all over my body while I move, it challenges my stability and patience in a way that keeps me really present. Down dog, planks, and lunge’s are our favorite. When I’m trying to balance in half moon pose I ask him to try to pull my top leg down. He loves to dangle from the back of my shoulders while I move in and out of squats, we count them together. We sing songs about reaching for the stars and touching earth as we stretch. He reminds me not to take myself or my practice too seriously. Today he even personally requested tree pose and an OM. Ryder’s desire to practice and learning the names of the poses is better than any training I could ever invest in. This is so much more meaningful to me. So what if my practice is not what it used to be, letting go of my need to practice a certain way has been such a gift that I now get to share with him. ✨
Yoga teacher and photographer based in Santa Monica, CA